Ode to Yair

It all comes down to energy
And how the carbon too
Is balanced ‘twixt all the demand
And what can be produced.

And if those two things do not jive
You’ve dropped the ball to curb
For either you’re not steady state
Or mass is not conserved!

Shakey Science

The forth and fifth floors of Heald have been mothballed
No more science in those halls, only rusted centrifuges and cracked test tubes
Once they were the best
Humming labs unwrapping the cell
Now they are dusty
decontaminated according to the facility operations postings
never to be used again
Like a Barry Goldwater dashboard mount.

No more Eureka’s
One day Heald will be torn down
The crack in the foundation
Runs like a prophecy down the front steps
Maybe to be replaced
Or maybe to lay out as a green patch for the rabbits
And so might our science
If it too has cracks.

Nobel Surprize

At least three Germans that I've heard
fled their homeland from the war
but worried for the things behind
they disguised some stuff for none to find

three Nobel medals were so dissolved
in caustic acid, in bottles stalled
marauding armies passed them by
a clear concoction does not catch eye

when bombs were done and guns grew still
the laureates returned to their hills
precipitated gold amassed
and had their prizes then recast!

Plant Sense

Leaves go up and roots go down
but how do they know where's the ground?
They have no eyes, they cannot see
let's investigate this mystery

Leaves and stems respond to light
lengthen when dark, in sun grow tight
thus as chicks stretching neck for meal
our earth-bound friends hunger's fulfilled

the roots respond, gravity is felt
with statoliths that drop in cells
and signal for the downward stretch
to gather water and nutrients

for us to hear to smell and see
is not to do, we are quite free
but plants cant help but to respond
from arctic wilds to your front lawn.

Mendeleev

The founder of atomic chart
lived in old Russia under the Czar
and cut his hair but once a year
perhaps because his marriage dear
was miserable to say the least
they lived apart and did not speak.

But after many years of this
a young art student caught his list
her parents did quite disprove
of the hairy advance of this old kook
so sent their daughter off to France
but Mendeleev proposed at last.

The laws of Russia required first
seven years to grant divorce
but the scientist paid off a priest
30,000 did the deed
he was defrocked for this disgrace
but Mendeleev got what he paid.

An irate noble begged the Czar
"Grant me divorce! You did before!"

His non-rhyming reply-
"Mendeleev may have two wives,
but I only have one Mendeleev"

PS During the siege of Stalingrad, Mrs. Mendeleev 2.0 was still alive and received double rations for the work her husband did.

Metabolism

I used to think,
Metabolites
moved like a factory
from step to step
from start to done
by specialized machines.

Nothing wasted
Just because
production was so tight
with inputs in
and outputs out
with prudence and foresight.

Now I feel
that's not the case
because efficiency
is born through strife
and battles for
substrates limiting.

In my mind now
the fact'ry's gone
and all the parts are junked
the living cell's
production is
more like a big pot luck!

Bunsen Burner

Doctor Bunsen, of burner fame
Enjoyed his elements
Of all of them
Beryllium
Was his mostest favorite.

One day a fly flew in his prep
And upon his proboscis
His sample dear
A portion there
Flew away from thence.

He chased the bug around the lab
Until he had the thief
And crushed the flea
Most carefully
His science could not be beat.

He laid it in a crucible
And burned it into ash
Recovering
Most lovingly
One-tenth a milligram!

Carl Bosch Visits Montenego

There was a German chemist
who loved his fancy eats
and visiting Vienna
He ate some tender meats.

So fancy was this dinner
the bill was much adorned
with calligraphy and gilded edge
The price he prob'bly mourned.

He placed the leaf in pocket
continuing his trip
soon off to Montenegro
to try the spinach dip.

but at the border trouble brewed
no documents he had
declaring nationality
no passport! He was sad.

The guard did eye him sternly
this border would be closed
without some sort of paperwork
he thought quick on his toes.

Bosch figured Montenegroen's
German not too sharp
and handed him the bill of sale
from his viennese lamp chop.

The patrol looked over carefully
to see if it was true
impressed with the embellishments
he let the chemist through!